Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
