Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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