seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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