Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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