So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize