I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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