Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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