I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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