in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What drink are we having for lunch?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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