Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
