i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
