I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
this hospital has no fireball
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
