Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
