Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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