I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
