Umm I'm too high to move.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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