I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
