he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize