I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
