that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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