i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
