I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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