i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
