Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
