I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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