For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
