If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
