Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
