I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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