hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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