Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
