Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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