i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
