so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
