It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
