So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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