none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
