I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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