How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize