i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
