My first STD was from a foam party
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
