just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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