Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
