I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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