all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
this is an emotional support booty call
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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