You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
