Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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