It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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