What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
