i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
