So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
