i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
