Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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