I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
