I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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