so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize