That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
