could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
