i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize