So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
