Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
