ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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