so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
