New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
