so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
