I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize
