Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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