garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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