I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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