hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
