Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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