We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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