he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
